Sarah Silver (likeabunnie) wrote,
Sarah Silver

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"It's fun to lose, and to pretend"

I feel almost too contemplative to figure out what I am thinking.

I found Janel sitting in the warm (November, hehe) night air in a rocking chair on the front porch, and I think her contemplative mood got me into the same.

There is a woman named Angel on our street that seems really lonesome, and Janel always tries to talk to the neighbors, though many say hey with the look that they think she is is kinda sad that is how it is though, huh? It is odd to try and get to know your neighbors. Certainly odd to talk to them and ensure that they really care. Janel chatted with her and I tried to join in...and then she told me later after Angel had  gone that she was surprised I joined in, that she certainly had many friends who wouldn't have!

I keep thinking about how it seems most of what people think about religion is almost wrong...I think most of us don't do it how God intended. People in general seem so unhappy as a general rule. Is this how mankind has always been? I've been happy lately in general living for the day, doing what I like, helping others...

I read and have heard often about how we must live right in this right to get to heaven, but overall the better I live now the better I feel now. I don't wanna live with regrets and sadness, I wanna be giving and see others happy...I want to live like Jesus did, to pray that I will be in the right place at the right time to help when I can, to do what I am meant to do even if I am unclear of what it is sometimes. I get filled with joy when I think about love.

Real, true, love, that reaches deep down in through your cornea to deep in your soul, to where you KNOW, beyond a doubt, that that other person loves you, and you just get this feeling of overwhelming joy!

I think now I can be closer to God because now I can fully understand what it means when I realize that he loves me! He loves ME! And that passionate joy makes me want EVERYONE to feel that way!

The world would be different, so very different, if everyone knew and truly believed they were loved. I don't think people could turn down the needy, tease, or injure...I don't think they would need it, if they didn't have such emotional scars...I don't think we could really kill others, in was or in cold blood, because if you know love it seems like you just wanna share it.  I think that's how you know when someone truly loves you.
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